


Drowning On Dry Land

by barnesbottoms



Category: Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck
Genre: Angst, Hurt, Hurt No Comfort, Other, if you love George you'll either love or hate this, ok maybe a little bit comfort but it's mostly pain, this whole thing is just about him so
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-24
Updated: 2016-01-24
Packaged: 2018-05-16 01:20:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,138
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5807776
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/barnesbottoms/pseuds/barnesbottoms
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The night Lennie almost drowned. The night George almost lost his best friend. The night that changed George's relationship to Lennie. The night at the Sacramento River.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Drowning On Dry Land

"Come on, Lennie. It ain't deep. Jump in."

It was late at night and the men were having a break at the riverside of the Sacramento River. They had been to town to enjoy the little free time they were granted after a hard day of working on the field in the hot unmerciful sun. George and Lennie had only arrived a few days ago at the Smith Ranch, this making it the first night in the new town for them.

On Aunt Clara's deathbed she made George promise her that he would take care of her nephew and so the young men had left their home town to find themselves jobs. But in spite of George's promise to look after Lennie he kept on playing jokes on him, that Lennie was too dumb to understand and kept beating him up.

Lennie stuck to the shorter man nevertheless and so they got their work cards and were sent to the new Ranch.

As always George was the one to handle it alone and all at once. It frustrated him to no end and he was just tired of it all. Well, mainly he was tired of the soft giant being no help at all, having to deal with a puppy-like man who was neither able to remember nor understand George’s ongoing explanations and repetitions.

He had been more than thankful when the other ranch workers asked the two new arrivals if they wanted to accompany them to a local bar.

Lennie's aunt had inherited them her last money to help them on their way, which George had intended to save, but he was too exhausted by the last weeks constantly being on the edge of his nerves, constantly worrying about their jobs, their future, their well-being, that he convinced himself that some of the money belonged to him and that it was his God damn good right to spend it on some drinks.  

After downing the booze in the pub the tipsy men were on their way back to the ranch, but took a little break on the riverside. A breeze had sprung up making the sycamore's limbs, which arched over the dark pool crinkle.

George was standing with three other men growling and laughing about things Lennie wasn't able to hear, due to the fact that he was some feet away from them. Like always he was unsure of what he was allowed to do and what he was supposed to avoid doing. The insecurity was ever so present since he did not know how to act in the presence of other people. Additional to this came his fear of George being mad with him, he really did not want his friend to scold him like he always did.

George was smirking at Lennie, obviously feeling pretty smart. Then he repeated his command:  "Jump."     And then Lennie jumped.

 

The men clapped George appreciatively on the shoulder. Despite Lennie's size and strength he listened to what the much smaller man told him to do, leaving the others very impressed.

"Look at 'im! Jes', look at how hard he struggles!"

"Looks like a damn walrus to me, hahaha."

"Got yourself a loyal pet there, don't cha George?"

 

George's answer was him breaking out into laughter with the other men again. He felt incredible, as if the world was lying defeated upon his feet and the stars were waiting for him to reach for them. As he was wiping a tear of laughter away, his eyes wandered to the riverside where Lennie should be standing by now.

Little waves were breaking on the stones, that were poking out of the water and the wind was pulling at the already torn leaves. The water looked like pitch-black goo, which would swallow everyone who dared to enter it.   A lump in George's throat was trying to suffocate him and his eyes were darting over the wavy darkness searching for a sign of life. There! Lennie's head appeared for a short moment just to be drowned again.

The other three men had followed George's gaze causing their laughter to die in their throats. Immediately all men were running into the water, except George. He was frozen in his motion, not able to move while his thoughts were running him over, drowning him. The dark haired man wasn't able to think straight and was too numb to move.     One of the men turned around to shout at George:  "George, c'mon! We need ya, we can't get the giant on o' own!"

George's legs started moving without him noticing it. He ran and ran and ran, till his feet hit the water and he was throwing himself into the waves. Two of the guys had just arrived, already trying to grab Lennie when George caught up to them. Lennie's big head emerged for two heartbeats and was lost in the darkness right after that again. Panic flooded George, like the water was flooding Lennie's lungs. Then he finally caught hold of one of Lennie's arms shouting at the others to grab his friend too. They were fighting against the current of the river until they collapsed coughing on the hard ground. George, who was gasping for air stumbled over his own feet, losing touch with the ground and landed on his knees right next to Lennie's limp body. In horror he starred at his friend’s motionless face and then started to hit him with his flat hand. His swats became harder and harder as his panic arose drastically. Lennie was still not moving and his eyes were still shut. And then George lost himself, letting the fear take control over his body, which was forcing him to frantically beat Lennie's chest over and over again. "Wake up, you son of a bitch! WAKE UP!"

In the next moment Lennie's body hunched up, his back arched enormously and he spat out a huge load of dark water. Coughing and gasping for air his lungs finally inflated again. His innocent child-like eyes opened, fixed George and then he crooked his head a little to the side with fear breaking over his face, "Have I done a bad thing, George?" 

George's tense shoulders sunk a little and his head slumped forward as he let out the breath that he didn't even know he'd been holding.

 

Back at the farm Lennie was sleeping wrapped in two blankets. While he made various pleased grunting noises, George was lying awake staring blankly at the ceiling of the bunkhouse. His arms were crossed behind his head as he looked at the brittle wooden beams, which were holding the roof together.

George was still in shock in contrast to his friend, who nearly drowned a few hours ago and who was peacefully dreaming and mumbling something in his sleep now, "...tend the rabbits...".   Georges head darted to the resting man as if he had let lose a tremendous scream and he kept staring at his relaxed face for a long moment. _It's my fault_ , flashed through his mind. He felt the tears pressing and slowly flooding his eyes, but also the anger that was starting to make his blood boil. With a "God dammit" gritting through his teeth he pressed himself firmly off his mattress and left the bunkhouse in a hurried pace.

His tense back leaned against the wooden wall next to the door and he looked up at the cloudless sky.  The scene from the river rushed through his head again and again, as if his mind was on auto-play. He saw it happening over and over: Lennie jumped. They laughed. He couldn't see Lennie anywhere. It was like he was frozen to the ground, couldn't move. Then he ran, ran, ran. Faster and faster...

His heart was racing like he had to rush through the water towards his drowning friend again. His eyes were wide open, starring at his trembling hands, into which he buried his face first and then clawed with into his dark hair. His torso doubled up slowly, while the pressure on his chest was growing and the feeling of falling apart became stronger.  He wanted to scream - he needed to. His breath was going fast and flat. _Oh god, it was my fault. It was my God damn fault!_

He pushed himself out of the cramped posture and struggled into a sitting position, embracing his legs with his arms. George sat heavily, taking some measured breaths as he tried to get his head on straight and his heart rate back under control. "Get your shit together, Milton."

The guilt was eating away at him and he felt like someone threw a sack of corn over his shoulders, which tried to completely crush him.

_He jumped. This crazy bastard actually jumped! Why did he do that? Why didn't he tol' me that he couldn't swim a stroke?! He damn near drowned! He coulda told me that he can't swim! He gotta mouth for stuff like that. Talks hell lot of dumb stuff but when it's about somethin' important he keeps his damn mouth shut. This dumb son of a bitch! Why'd he even listen to me?!_

George was grinding his teeth together in anger making his jaw clench. When he felt how badly his hands were trembling, he just clutched his fists tighter.

_Why does he do any damn thing I tell him? If I tol' him to walk over a cliff, over he'd go. I play jokes on 'im cause he's too dumb to take care of 'imself. He's too dumb to know he has jokes played on him. He never gets mad about it, neither. I beat the hell outa him, and he could bust every bone in my body jus' with his han's, but he never lifts a finger against me. I tol' him to jump and he is so damn nice to me for pullin' him out! Just clean forgot **I** told him to jump in! _

His fist slammed into the wall of the bunkhouse, the noise echoing through the night. The pain rushed through his whole arm and George was glad that his thoughts had stopped tumbling over each other for a short moment. But then he listened into the darkness, hoping no one had heard him especially the other guys on the opposite side of the wall, which George had punched. After a few heartbeats of convincing himself that none of the guys had woken up, he looked down to his hand. His knuckles were busted and a little bit of blood was making its way down the back of his hand to drop on the floor. His anger was gone and the anxiety kicked back in.  George was, in a word, terrified that Lennie trusted him more than he trusted himself. Despite how completely unreasonable that sounded, George actually knew it was undoubtedly true.

 _It's on me. I am responsible for him and because of me he God damn nearly died today. He could be dead right now!_ George scoffed. _I promise his aunt to take care of 'im and what do I do? Almost get 'im killed. For heaven's sake, I'm such an asshole! How could I let this happen? He listens to ev'rything I tell 'im. I'm responsible for 'im, for all of this! Oh, God dammit!_ George was staring at the ground with a terribly pained, almost astonished look, as if he'd just discovered the fundamental properties of the universe and a single tear escaped his eye to run down his face. In that moment a voice aroused next to him: "George? George, is you mad at me? Is you sad? George?!"

He twirled his head around to look at Lennie, just to turn away from him again and to wipe the silly tear away as fast as he could.

"What ya want? You're supposed to sleep," he said lowly, his anger bleeding into his tone. "Of course ev'rything's alright!," George snapped at Lennie but was still not meeting his gaze.

George got up, rubbing his hand over his face to gain back his composure. After recognizing the sad and defeated look on Lennie's face George sighed and went to his big friend placing his hand on the broad shoulder. "C’mon, let's go inside," and with these words George slipped past Lennie, who followed him like a loyal dog. In this moment George made a decision: He wouldn't let anything bad happen to Lennie ever again. He would fulfill the promise he gave Clara. He would look after Lennie. Tonight would never happen again, George was going to make sure of that.

After Lennie got back into bed, he shifted a little bit and fell asleep again, George looked at him for a long time and then whispered, "Don't cha worry, Lennie. I'll protect you. I promise."


End file.
